I look at these photos now and I can almost feel them. The humidity that dehydrates you in an instant – the congested, alive streets – the contrast between the wealthy and the destitute – the beauty and the harshness of life.
It’s all there, so vivid to me that I can sense it.
My daily bicycle route to work led me past S-21, the notorious Genocide Museum, a remnant of the Khmer Rouge period. I had a strong reaction to this place, and passing by it each day reminded me of why I chose to accept the challenge of volunteering and living in Cambodia.
I haven’t begun to be able to articulate the way this trip affected me. I know that the past 4 months have been an evolution. I’ve grown, I’ve learned to be by myself, I’ve learned to accept my circumstances, I’ve learned that I am incredibly blessed, I’ve learned that I am my own worst enemy, I’ve learned that progress takes focus and acceptance, and I’ve learned not to panic…amongst many other things.
More than anything I have learned that I’m right where I need to be.
No matter how much I convince myself on a daily basis that I need to try harder, I need to be better, I need to accomplish something more – I am presently right where I’m supposed to be. And if I can pause for a second and be ok with that, I’ll have a whole lot more to learn about myself and it won’t take traveling to a foreign country to figure it out.