Out of the mud, the lovely lotus blossom blooms, out of trials something higher vies.
This is a phrase I carry with me always, a mantra that lifts me up when I’m struggling to accept that which I cannot control.
I’m beginning to surrender. Slowly but surely, and not without putting up a fight I’m realizing what Woddy Allen meant when he famously said “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”
To those who know me well, it’s no secret that I like to be in control. But I feel that lately life has been nudging me, nagging me, and ultimately forcing me to look beyond the rigid standards that I’d set for myself and discover what my life might look like without blinders.
I think it’s safe to say that many of us approach the mid to late twenties as
the foundation of our future selves. I was just flipping through a magazine and saw a positive article on a young woman who was 27 years old and the executive director of a community based non-profit. Instead of continuing to read on and possibly become inspired or at least better informed, I flipped the page and instantly started a scolding myself for falling short. “I should be there, I should have something to say for myself career wise”, “I’m 27 and my resume dims in comparison” and the negative self-loathing thoughts come rushing in.
I’ve spent so much time over the past few months searching the depths of my soul. I’ve journaled (the pen & paper kind). I’ve unloaded all my heavy thoughts on my Mom, and she thankfully listens, endures and offers advice. But most importantly I’ve slowed down my perfection craving mind and have begun to see that my failures are human, are genuine and are the guidance I’ve been seeking.
Resilience comes from enduring adversity and coming out better for it.