Out of the mud, the lovely lotus blossom blooms, out of trials something higher vies.
This is a phrase I carry with me always, a mantra that lifts me up when I’m struggling to accept that which I cannot control.
I’m beginning to surrender. Slowly but surely, and not without putting up a fight I’m realizing what Woddy Allen meant when he famously said “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”
To those who know me well, it’s no secret that I like to be in control. But I feel that lately life has been nudging me, nagging me, and ultimately forcing me to look beyond the rigid standards that I’d set for myself and discover what my life might look like without blinders.
I think it’s safe to say that many of us approach the mid to late twenties as
the foundation of our future selves. I was just flipping through a magazine and saw a positive article on a young woman who was 27 years old and the executive director of a community based non-profit. Instead of continuing to read on and possibly become inspired or at least better informed, I flipped the page and instantly started a scolding myself for falling short. “I should be there, I should have something to say for myself career wise”, “I’m 27 and my resume dims in comparison” and the negative self-loathing thoughts come rushing in.
I’ve spent so much time over the past few months searching the depths of my soul. I’ve journaled (the pen & paper kind). I’ve unloaded all my heavy thoughts on my Mom, and she thankfully listens, endures and offers advice. But most importantly I’ve slowed down my perfection craving mind and have begun to see that my failures are human, are genuine and are the guidance I’ve been seeking.
Resilience comes from enduring adversity and coming out better for it.
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to chose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
– Victor E. Frankl
I came back home from Cambodia with a full head of steam. Inspiration and energy overflowing. Maybe it was the jet lag – maybe it was genuine excitement for the future, but for the first week or so I woke up early, finished a second European Union grant application for Protection for Juvenile Justice, (long distance volunteering continues) pushed out multiple resumes, finished art projects, and maintained personal health priorities.
And then I got a call back for a job interview.
Life stops. I re-focus, put on my game face and get ready to interview with my very first degree related job (an entire year after earning my Masters). Everything about this job seems perfect. Alas the stars align. Or so I thought.
Experience in the field? Check.
Genuine interest in the job? Check.
Organization that aligns with my personal values? Check.
Consistent salary? Check.
Job interview goes well. Check.
…follow up interview from said employer…
not so much.
And so the pessimism creeps in and dulls the light that was shining so bright – carrying me through these last few months of loneliness.
All I can do from here is understand that I have the best of intentions and rest in knowing that I can choose to continue the forward momentum – even it seems a bit crooked.
Maybe what I think I should be doing is a little bit different than what the universe has in store for me, but I promise myself – everyday I’m trying.
I am feeling melancholy.
Don leaves tomorrow.
I use the word melancholy because even though it makes me incredibly sad to face the reality of being separated from my husband, I am equally excited for the opportunities that the next few months will bring us both. Don & I are about to experience circumstances that will change our lives.
In a perfect world, maybe we’d get to experience these endeavors together, but I am certain that when we reconvene we will both be changed for the better.
I am thankful for the love I have and I am optimistic for the future.
A few years ago I found myself feeling a little directionless. In my search for encouragement I came across a book by Wayne Dyer called “The Power of Intention”. While I read the book, I journaled pages and pages of encouraging quotes that spoke to me then, & I knew would speak to me again when I needed them.
I am so glad that I recorded these quotes, because as I was reading through my journal this morning I came across them and instantly felt encouraged and energized by each passage. I also know that others may appreciate the advice, as we all sometimes need a little outside encouragement. All of the following quotes come from “The Power of Intention” by Wayne Dyer, I hope you find them as inspirational as I do.
Treat yourself as if you already are who you’d like to become.
If we become what we think about, and what we think about is what’s wrong with the world, and how angry and ashamed and fearful we are, it stands to reason that we’ll act on those unkind thoughts and become what we’re thinking about.
When the only thing you have to think about is yourself and how you appear to others, you’ve distanced yourself from the power of intention.
Remember, when you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge.
An uncomplicated life with fewer intrusions tolerated, in a simple setting, allows your creative genius to surface and express itself.
And my favorite quote, which is not from “The Power of Intention” but it is reflective of core of the message that these quotes discuss:
Sow a thought and you reap an action;
Sow an act and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit and you reap a character;
Sow a character and you reap a destiny.
Ralph Waldo Emerson